1. |
(Not)Home
03:52
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A place where you can go,
And always feel safe,
A place where you can go,
And talk about your day.
A place where people there,
Fill your heart with love,
A place where people care,
When push comes to shove
And I’m not home,
And I’m not home,
Cause when you lost yours at sixteen,
You forget what home means
And I just wanna know,
When I’ll finally be there,
And I need someone to show me,
Where home is.
Is it somewhere I can go,
And talk about my day?
Is it somewhere I can go,
And finally feel safe?
Is it somewhere the people there,
Will fill me with love?
Is it somewhere the people care,
When push comes to shove?
But I’m not home,
But I’m not home,
Cause when I lost mine at sixteen,
I forgot what home means,
And I just wanna know,
When I’ll finally be there,
And I need someone to show me,
Where home is
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2. |
Away the Blackbird Flew
05:14
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The silence,
Of snow after midnight,
Cold air,
Is chilling my aching lungs
Streetlights,
Of the nearby town,
Are painting,
The sky in a golden hue
And away the blackbird flew,
She’s off to somewhere new,
From the old town bridge I watch,
And dream
The rumble,
Of the train below,
As that same song,
Blares in my old headphones
A deep chill,
Is creeping into my bones,
A long sigh,
As I head towards home
And away the black bird flew,
She’s off to somewhere new,
From the old town bridge I watch,
And dream
I am dreaming,
Of somewhere that I’ve never known,
Some place,
That finally feels like a home,
But I can’t fly,
Away from this small town life,
And I am afraid it’s where I will die
Where I’ll die
The silence,
Of my dark bedroom,
Little glow stars,
Are trying to lift the gloom
I’m dreaming,
That someone is near,
Who will take me,
Far away from here
And away the black bird flew,
She’s off to somewhere new,
From my small window I watch,
And dream
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3. |
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The ache,
Of ages passing by,
A stream of broken ties,
That carry me away,
And empty streets across my home town meet,
With things I never saw through,
And memories of you,
Tired eyes,
And hopeless smiles,
Your apathy (Your apathy),
Was strangling (Was strangling),
With no guarantee I'd ever breathe again.
And after all this time (After all this time),
What comes to mind (What comes to mind),
Are strings of words I wish I could have said.
You wasted,
What could have been,
I lost,
Years of my life,
Just trying to get by,
Why did I let you make me hide,
And the little girl I could have been you burned,
Now I pick up the debris,
And she'll never get to be,
Tired eyes,
And hopeless smiles,
Your apathy (Your apathy),
Was strangling (Was strangling),
With no guarantee I'd ever breathe again.
And after all this time (After all this time),
What comes to mind (What comes to mind),
Are strings of words I wish I could have said,
You wasted,
What could have been.
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4. |
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5. |
Dawn
03:56
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Six a clock in the mornin’,
And the birds have woke from their dreamin’,
So they started their peepin’,
But I am still awake
I decide to try and lie down,
But the cats are all tangled in the sheets,
Scooch them aside to soft meows,
And try to give myself to dreams,
The last star hangs on,
As the world prepares for dawn,
But I can’t sleep,
No I can’t sleep,
My mind keeps on racin’,
But I look at your peaceful face,
And feel myself unwindin’,
I finally know I’m safe
The last star hangs on,
As the world prepares for dawn,
But I found some peace,
As I fall asleep
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6. |
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7. |
This Ship is Sinking
04:05
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This ship is sinking,
It started so slowly,
But the water is creeping,
Between my toes,
And it's been sinkin’ for years,
But with each wave you would make,
Each promise you’d break,
Clearly the end was near,
Now that I’m on dry land,
Tell me why do I miss the sea?
And I start bailing,
My fingers blister and bleed,
Your water’s never ending,
I can’t stop the sea,
This ship's been sinkin’ for years,
But with each wave you would make,
Each promise you’d break,
Clearly the end was near,
Now that I’m on dry land,
Tell me why do I miss the sea?
And I thought what we had was so precious and rare,
And that one day you would wake up and care,
But I guess I was oblivious,
To think that anything could save us,
And no matter how far we’d roam,
You would always be my home,
This ship's been sinkin’ for years,
But with each wave you would make,
Each promise you’d break,
Clearly the end was near,
Now that I’m on dry land,
Tell me why do I miss the sea?
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8. |
Interlude 3 - Empty
01:49
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9. |
Homestuck and SMT
04:16
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I can’t be here,
It still feels too rough
Words still whistle in my ears,
It’s all too much,
But these walls are my prison,
The only escape is my mind,
Because the scars still cling to these walls,
Why can’t I leave it behind?
So I sit here reading homestuck and playing SMT
So that I can finally start to feel numb,
And as I slip through unreality,
It’s only my imagination,
That can see again,
It can see again.
Perfume and rubbing alcohol,
But your scent still lingers on my skin,
And I hate how it makes me recall,
How I let you in.
So I sit here reading homestuck and playing SMT,
So that I can finally start to feel numb,
And as I slip through unreality,
It’s only my imagination,
That can see again,
But I never wanna see you again,
Ohhhhhhhhhh oh
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10. |
Specktors
08:42
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The only place I found peace,
Is in the graveyard,
When the noise of the city streets,
Has left me jarred,
And only the dead can let,
My thoughts depart,
But the specktors of regret,
Still gnaw at my heart,
And I still hear,
Airplanes soar,
And the blaring of sirens,
And I yearn for something,
Peaceful and pastoral,
But the world I grew up in,
Would be so hostile,
I can never go back,
I’ll never look back,
Only dream of something that can’t be.
And I tell myself,
That I left it behind,
I made my choice,
Safety over comfort,
When you’re an ex-boy,
And I yearn for something,
Peaceful and pastoral,
But the world I grew up in,
Would be so hostile,
I can never go back,
I’ll never look back,
Only dream of something that can’t be.
I feel like I’m floatin’,
I’m rudderless,
Though I should be blossomin’,
I’m left listless,
I’m listless,
I’m listless,
I’m listless,
Ahhhhh
Ahhhhh
Ohhhhh
Ohhhhh
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11. |
Retry
05:59
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Spoken:
I have no place to call home,
There’s a place I live and a place I go,
But in the end I still feel alone.
Constantly stuck in between,
I have no sense of security?
No way to live,
No freedom to be.
I want to run away,
To break the chains that bind me,
But I’m still so afraid,
I’ll be lost forever in this maze,
Unaccompanied on the road I take,
And just headed for my biggest mistake,
But it’s a life I am willing to trade,
And from my memory the past will fade.
So.
Although I know I have gone astray,
This road will lead me home someday.
Sung:
Replying the game for the hundredth time,
Head on my knees lost in my mind,
Hoping to remember what it’s like to be alive,
As a message flashes over and over.
You told me,
That everyone is dying of loneliness,
Then I guess I’m dying,
Because I failed to connect.
Retry,
Retry,
Retry,
Over and over
Retry,
Retry,
I’ll Retry,
Over and over
Retry,
Retry,
I’ll Retry,
Over and over
Retry,
Retry,
Retry,
Over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
and over and over
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Glittershot Sunset Chicago, Illinois
Trans-girl in Chicago making midwest emoy, chiptuny, jazzy sad girl jams. Like Radiohead but trans
Glittershot Sunset recommends:
The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe
by Patricia Taxxon
It tells such a moving a personal story in such a unique way, beautiful lyricism and occasional clash with harsh instrumentation builds the feeling of beautiful memories that hurt
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